Posts Tagged ‘Times Now’

I hate those ” I didn’t mean that ” moments. I am married and I do have my fair share of marital tiffs. When my wife gives me an empty stare and expects me to decipher. And I am left dumbfounded , trying to figure out what she means.

Or sometimes when we are in middle of some life critical decision making moments, like yesterday we were trying to decide the color of buckets for our guest bathroom, she says something very vague and very destructive ” You decide“.

All married men would agree its the deadliest weapon in the arsenal. Most often than not , you would never get it right. If I am to decide , you are to respect my choice and not sulk. I am tired of being told that I don’t get what she means. Come on lady – You didn’t marry Sherlock Holmes …did you

Precisely , why I don’t like Shashi Tharoor. After Cattle Class and the candid musings about the Visa regulations…here comes the most womanly behavior from him.

First he says Saudi will make good interlocutor. Ok , they might , post they have got rid of all the sand in their mouth and done tying up those unending reams of clothes. So when, Mr. Tharoor says “Interlocutor“, I like any lay man with a limited knowledge of an imported language called English, I assume that he implies that Saudi can be a good alternate communication channel to the Pakistani’s

Yes they can, for if you have a slightest of interest in geopolitics , religion and terrorism- you would know , they are the only people who can talk to the Pakistani establishment as well as the gunmaster’s thriving in the hinterlands of Pakistan. Obviously , they control the Moolah. Remember – Money hai to Honey Hai

So putting two two’s together , I assume (Sissy) Tharoor means that he wants the Saudi’s to mediate. I guess most of you would have thought the same. In fact , for the first time Me and Arnab Goswami( Dont know???….you should watch Times Now ) were thinking alike and so were the communists and the BJP’s. Not that this was a proud moment for me…but it doesn’t hurt to have some people think like you sometimes .

And the way rest of media picked it up…I thought …this time Shashi Tharoor is in for a rough haul. And then out of the blue comes the rejoinder. I am not sure this time too he decided to use twitter to explain himself.
Shashi Tharoor - Courtesy HT
This man is surely gifted with the art of playing words. I want to challenge him to a game of scrabble actually. And this is what he says

I just said that Saudi Arabia could be a valuable interlocutor, which was misunderstood by many

Ok….I am one of the many…next comes from Twitter

Good day of mtgs, marred in some Indian media by misunderstanding of word ‘interlocutor’. An interlocutor is someone u spk to, nothing more

So he means, that all of us..me , Arnab, the commies and the Khakhi Shorts got it wrong. Yeah…yeah Mr. Tharoor , you have an upper hand, obviously we aren’t the direct descendants of Lord Macaulay as you maybe and neither we have spent years honing our ( Rapidex) English Speaking skill as you did in United Nations.( At least you could have done something to get India..that permanent place to park its posterior in the joke called security council)

Arnab …now please stop sulking , even your English is bad…ok !!!. You should join VETA ( remember ..the TV ad …the maid crooning love ballads ) or at least get TATA Sky English seekho

So Mr.(Sissy ) Tharoor , as always you never meant what you spoke. And then you use twitter to tell us this is not what you meant. Enough is enough, I will not take this anymore. You are behaving no different from how an wife defends.
“THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT”

Hey…just got a mail , its a checklist from the Minister himself. From the next time follow this checklist to interpret his comments & tweets

  • Read the statement
  • Look into Mr. Tharoor eyes ( I try this for my wife…to some extent it helps…particularly look at the eye brows…is she frowning)
  • Open a dictionary. Mind you go for the dictionary suggested by the Minister himself – Its called ” Mein Kampf with Words”. He has a handwritten draft of it , will soon be published by Foreign Ministry
  • Search for all words including connectors like to, the , and etc and then form a basic understanding of the statement
  • Pls ping the minister to check if this is what he meant
  • On confirmation from the Minister himself, pls proceed to form any opinion. Any opinion formed before that will receive a swift death by a tweet from the Minister himself.
  • People not following this will be cursed and will remain to suffer from Poor English deficiency Syndrome
  • And lastly , Mr Minister can change his mind anytime and decide to mean anything else than implied previously

Now , a question to all married men reading this….can’t you sniff a very woman like behavior from the Minister. He speaks cryptic, holds the right to interpretation, is not open for debate and above all sulks like woman. Yes, he sends tweets , very concise ones , the same way woman speak in non-cognizable monosyllabic statements.

And thats why I don’t like you any more Mr. Shashi(Sissy) Tharoor

PS: But I still love my wifey….

Image Courtesy – I found it on HT